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Writer's pictureThought Matters

Parenting basics -quoted in MidDay

Porshe incident in Pune, hit and run in Mumbai and many more have brought to the fore questions regarding parenting. What does being a parent entail.

Is it only to provide and protect?


Quoted in Mid-day on parenting basics

on 16th July.2024


Set the record straight

More often than not, parenting is picked up by parents as they raise their children, and not consciously considered or planned. And so, most parents tend to impart in their children the morals that have been set for them by their own parents, as well as those they have imbibed from their own (often skewed) worldview. In doing so, they often repeat and exacerbate the same mistakes their parents made, or attempt to parent using techniques that aren’t relatable in today’s world, clarified Dr Nahid Dave, a psychiatrist at Thought Matters. She also laid down a few basic guidelines for parents seeking to raise them right:

. Identify and express: It is a parent’s job to teach a child to identify their emotions and express them in healthy ways. Failing this, a child learns to deal with his/her emotions either through aggression or suppression

. Model the right behaviour: The most crucial lessons in ethics that parents can teach their children come from their own behaviour and choices. As parents, you have to practise what you preach.

. Cultivate consequential thinking early in life: Help your child to understand that different actions have different consequences and that these consequences are inevitable. Don’t let your child off the hook under the garb of caring or support — you are doing them much more harm than good. 

. The ideal role models: The conversations you have with and around your child tells him/her a lot about the kind of behaviours, and people you appreciate and admire. If you constantly accord more importance to wealth and power over traits such as academic merit and hard work, your child learns to prioritise the former, with scant regard for the latter.

. Avoid extreme and immediate gratification: If you find it difficult to say ‘no’ to your child, your child will grow up finding it extremely difficult to either say or accept a ‘no’. Spoiling your child with materialistic gifts to compensate for quality time spent with them will make your child entitled. But what parents don’t realise is that it can also cause low esteem and anxiety in their children as their sense of self is almost entirely defined by their materialistic belongings. Learn to not gratify your child’s urges immediately. Give them the gift of time and not things. 


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